lets welcome 2006..2005 wasnt an all gd year for me..there were some setbacks amidst all the joys and laughters.. however, i dont regret going thru those unpleasant moments as we humans need to experience some pain in order to gain somethingmy relationship with dearie has definitely improved over these few mths..that one 'deep-talk' which we had before my exams dramatically changed the way we look at things..by trying to accomodate to each other's needs and compromising with each other, we managed to resolve our conflicts quickly and painlessly..for my part, i learnt to be more appreciative of the effort he made to meet up with me despite of his long working hrs..im glad to have him as my pillar of support, encouraging and spurring me on in my studies as well as family affairs..i still remember him telling me, "u jgn lupa b, study hard..dun be like me..skrang i nak continue belajar pun dah susah with my keje shift.." hehe dont worry dear, i wont let u down.. and as i've said to u before, i hope our differences in opinions will not affect the love we share for each other.in 2005 also, i've travelled twice with almost the same grp of gfs to the same destination..hehe well, for the 2nd trip, ita managed to join us..finally the 5 of us..for the sake of those who havent know, all 5 of us were from the same sec 2 class..n the friendship stretches till now n hopefully till eternity..we sorta know each other inside-out i would say..i doubt we all share the same personality but that makes it interesting u see..our friendship is so dynamic, that we tolerate one another's 'kerenah' with open minds n hearts..rite gerls? hehe that explains the seven yrs of friendship we shared..n still counting. hmm, lets plan another trip babes, dis time ard, to a diff destination pls..jadi si kisha can add another kodok into her list of international 'kodoks'..hehe well, sch wasnt so bad in 2005..i managed to increase my cap pt thruout the two exams in 2005..a personal achievement for me..i started off with 2.1 pt in yr 1, and now, it stands at 2.71 pt.. nt a great figure if compared with my other friends who manage to attain 3 pts or more..but what the heck, i did improve! hopefully 2006 will be a more fruitful year than 2005..i shall embrace myself to face the future challenges and setbacks..so 2006, bring it on!
~flew by @ 5:07 PM
Courtesy of the one n only DINAHSomething I Wanna Do In My Life:bungee jumping.....weeeeee!
One Song I could Listen Over & Over Again:rite now, its melly goeslow and ari lasso-apa artinya cinta
'Coke Or Pepsi:pepsi pls
Something I Currently Desire:SUV!! a honda crv will do..hehe
One Good Deed I've Done Lately:hmm..nt getting pissed at dearie eventho he made me wait for him for like 1/2 hr...dats considered a gd deed alrite
A Funny Moment In My Life:the incident at harborfront stn where i thot i went the wrong way but it was actually correct..wat the heck!
well, i cant ans the last qn abt 5 ppl who would do this thing..cos nt many ppl know my blog existed(since its nt open for public reading pleasure)..even if they noe, the dont haf a blog of their own! haha..
~flew by @ 6:39 PM
if i always talked abt my friends, bf or wat i've been up to, today im gonna blog abt my mum!
nt many ppl know that i dont get along well with my mum..im nt 'mesra' with my mum, as in i dont joke ard with her..i only talk to her abt the necessary stuff.. nt that we always argue verbally but we do have our disagreements at times..i've learnt not to talk back and be defiant towards her..i admit that im very stubborn at times and i nvr want to give in to her..usually when we're nt happy with each other, we end up not talking for days..its weird living under one roof n not talking to her..n its happening now..
came back fr kl yest n i didnt talk to her the whole day today..seriously, i haf no idea wen or how come this happen..im nt sure if she's feeling wat im feeling..its like neither of us is making the first move to initiate a conversation..n just now, while having dinner with the rest of the family at simpang bedok, i cant help it but to feel so poignant..msged dearie saying "i think my mum loves my bros more than me."
i noticed that my mum offered food to everybody except me at the dinner table..normally, i'd just carry on with my meal as usual cos i dont need her to do that to me n i always tell myself not to be 'sensitive' over such things..but just now, i somehow felt so left-out..there i was sitting in between my two bros..n my mum sinply asked my elder and younger bro to have more servings of the food but not me..i was trying very hard nt to let my tears from flowing but i could already feel my eyes getting warm and watery..
i dont know how long we're carrying on like this cos i certainly hate this feeling..the feeling is worse than when i quarelled with dearie..simply bcos i could'nt even remember when my r/s with my mum became like this..i'd be the happiest person on earth if both of us are 'ok' with each other for at least 1 mth..its hard to even sustain that..dearie suggested that i talk to her abt it but i'm seriously nt comfortable opening up my feelings to her..n i doubt i wanna do that either
i wished to have a better r/s with her..sometimes i wished my mum would initiate things like praising me when i made her proud..saying 'congrats' is all i ask for..when i saw my fren kissing and hugging her mum before she left for kl, i wished my mum would do that to me too
nevertheless, she's still my mum, n as a daughter, i have much respect for her..its jus that i hope we could have a better mother-daughter r/s like most ppl out there..it need not be the best r/s ever, but jus a normal one will do.
on a diff note, i got back my results..my best results of all my exams! n im proud of myself n i know some other ppl who care abt me are proud too..nxt semester will be my last stretch..promised to give it my all and hopefully, i'll feel contented at the end of my undergraduate studies..insya'allah
~flew by @ 12:40 AM
taking time to answer these qns..thanks to dinah! ;-)---------- ferst time ----------::1st ke school:kindergarten at Blk 142..tampines..just two blocks away from my old house:1st memasak:hmm..is maggi considered? i remembered cooking maggi wen i was in pri 3..hehe still gd at that now though:1st jauh dari keluarga:trip to kl earlier this yr..doing in again in 2 days time..hee:1st masuk asrama:no asrama for me..travel from nus to tamp:1st fall in love:i'll say with dearie..serious..i never had a serious r/s which lasted for more than a mth before him:1st interview:last time while waiting for a levels results at coffeebean changi airport..didnt get it tho cos the ask if im willing to take off my tudung for the job..cannot ah like dat:1st duk rumah bujang:never..:1st tengok wayang:during my pri sch days mebbi.....:1st pegang duit sendiri:ever since i started sch..kan parents kasi duit jajan..tu pon considered pegang duit sendiri pe..haha-----------end of ferst time----------
~flew by @ 8:51 PM
First kiss..went out wif dearie yest..my dad allowed me to drive..so off i went to send him to work first then to pick dearie up..all the way at jurong west..but its ok once in a whileheaded to parkmall since dearie needed to collect his first aid pass..so i park the car at the multi-storey carpark..after collecting his pass, n as i was abt to drive out the car, that's when the first kiss happen..but not for me though, its the CAR!! gosh was i freaking panic n at the same time pissed as its my first 'accident' in my whole two years of driving!!damages i did: dent the front license plate and scratches on the front bumperwhat happened: my mistake was not doing reverse parking..i just went in straight to park the car..n im nt used to parking like dat..trouble struck when i wanted to drive out the car from the parking lot..dats when i feel the carpark was so narrow and i cant seem to turn the car out of the carpark..i started to feel stressed cos got another car waiting for me to go out..i think the driver got sick of waiting for me until he went to look for other parking spaces..hehethen came dis old man..he tried to 'help' me out my giving me directing how to turn my steering wheel..i actually hated it wen ppl do dat..cos i cant concentrate.. mane nak tgk his hand signals, mane nak turn the steering, mane nak coordinate my footwork..n that led to the 'gentle kiss' of my front bumper and an aircon compressor..haiz the next thing i knew, my front bumper hit smth..i quickly brake n reverse the car back into the parking lot..went out of the car to check the damages..still cant believe i had my first minor 'accident' in a multi-storey carpark..initially i was more worried driving on the busy roads of orchard..then terus after dat, i had no mood..but dearie calmed me down..it didnt help with me in my agitated state..i ended up blaming him..i said smth like "if it wasnt for u who wanted to collect ur stupid pass, n i haf to park in that carpark, this thing (accident) wouldnt have happen." he just kept quiet and after that agreed that he was to be blamed..then he said, "takpe ah, since its my fault, i belanja u mkn at pizza hut k." it was supposed to be my treat to celebrate his belated bday but its the other way round pulak..then of coz i felt bad for throwing harsh words on himif i could say one gd thing abt him, its his way of dealing with my such behaviour, not snapping back at me the moment i uttered nasty words out of anger..he's like the water, cooling down the fire(which is me)..he always said he knows i didnt mean wat i said whenever im pissed or angry..no use for two persons to be angry at a time..it wouldnt improve the situation..so yah, dats his character if u must noebut at the end of the day, everything was great..called up my dad to inform him abt wat happened n he said "its a small matter..not to worry." hehe..me n dearie went to window shopped for his bday gifts..mebbi he's buying them tmr wen we meet up again..but i wont be driving la..hehe decided that its nt worth it to drive to town esp during christmas season..but im definitely looking forward to tmr's date :-)
~flew by @ 1:00 PM
i'm hearing the wedding bells calling me...well there has been much talks abt weddings and getting married around me these few days..firstly it was with my gfs, then with my elder bro and lastly with dearie (ehem2)..non has already posted her thoughts abt it on her blog, so i guess its my turn to contribute my two cents..(this entry has nthg to do with the living or dead..any resemblence is purely coincidental..so jgn nak terasa eh whoever is reading this..kwang3)
at 21, we would be considered adults who are matured enough to think of getting married and settling down..dat is if we were living during our parents' time..my dad told me, at my age, he was already supporting his family financially since he's the eldest, with seven siblings..having a steady gf was never an option for him during his sch years (dat was supposed to be a hint2 for me n bro..hehe)
but i always say to my dad, times have changed and we cant afford to be like him.. nowadays, almost everybody i noe is already having gf/bf eventho they are still studying..my parents are quite conservative when it comes to this bgr thingy..they might know dat i already have a bf but they just kept quiet abt it..unlike other parents who would love to meet and invite their children's bf/gf over to their homes..i guess they just dun wanna show that they are encouraging me to pursue a relationship now..my elder bro still get nags from them when he goes out with his fiancee..they will start preaching abt the halal and haram stuffs..but as parents, i feel that they're just fulfilling their responsibilities and i respect that
anyhoos, back on the issue abt marriage, i have a confession to make..i used to fantasize marrying my prince charming, who shld be at least three years older than me, and live happily ever after, after two years once i start working..and after one year of marriage, i'll be blessed with a beautiful baby, walking along orchard rd, pushing a baby stroller with my hubby by my side..(dats how early i got my motherly instincts..gosh!)..see, how accurate im trying to be with the figures, planning my future..haha but that was during my early teenage years, where perfectionist is my middle name..but as i was growing up(still am), blossoming into a fair lady(hehe), i realised how impt it is to adjust my so-called fantasies and take things as it is
a lot of things is going on ard me..seeing my bro getting engaged made me feel dat "gosh, i wished it was me who's getting engaged!" n with aisah getting married next year, i sometimes wished that my bf is stable enough to get married to me! its not a matter of jealousy, but its just a good feeling to see couples marrying earlier..n i dun mean marrying just because the girl is carrying his illegitimate child! mebbi its just me, who's all so feeling2 abt marriage..or mebbi its also a girl's thing?i dunno..
as for me, marriage is still far..my gfs predicted that im the first to get hitched among us..i wished girls! i really wish..haha but looking at things at the present moment,with dearie just started his work and having to support his family financially, i shall put my wedding fantasies on hold for the time being..as much as i wanna settle down early, its also hard if the guy is nt ready financially..cos he's the one saving up for the dowry and all..i dun wanna get married early if we're nt mentally prepared for the challenges ahead..n truthfully, i get all smitten whenever he mentions abt marriage..knowing that he is working so hard to save up for his 'future', i feel so kesian for him..i guess god
jodohkan me n him to make me realise how impt it is not to take life's simplicity for granted..i must say that eversince im with dearie, i've learnt to be more independent and be thankful for wat i have..cos other ppl have to struggle to have a life that im leading now
in a nutshell,i shall conclude by saying dat i wanna get married n have kids but not now..hehe
so abt the title of this entry, i forgot to end it with a "not"...hehehe
~flew by @ 2:58 PM
im back fr chalet..well it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be..before this, i was nt looking forward to the chalet since its just my family thingy but yest was great! had bbq n lotsa food..my cousins n the gerls were there..non came a bit earlier to go cycling with me and she left earlier too when the rest of the gerls reached..lepak till abt 11pm before the gerls headed home..luckily kisha drove, dats y can stay that late..well thanks gerls for coming!hope u enjoyed the food n hospitality..n kisha, forgot to thank you for the chocs..tenkiu! ;-)
well i managed to go out with dearie last wednesday after convincing my mum to push the bbq session to thur instead..hehe we went to catch a movie at town..my first RA movie eversince i turned 21..hehe watched it with dearie some more..haha but the movie was ok la..not really concentrated with sexual contents
n my poor baby was sick on our date..kesian dearie, he was down with a fever..but still decided to meet me after his work..thanks b, u sakit2 pon sanggup keluar with me..i think he noes dat if he cancel our meeting last min, i wud be disappointed n merajok..hehe anw after movie, we went to eat ayam penyek at lucky plaza..nice food there..i ate the gado-gado n drank smth called happy soda..its actually a mixture of bandung and ice-cream soda..tasted weird at first tapi habis jugak satu gelas..hehe
so yah, dats how i spend my weekdays..i think im just resting at home for the weekends..more things happening nxt week..i'll do a quick rundown on next week's schedule:
Mon: Interview at MOE
Tues: no plans as yet..hehe
Wed: Meeting up with jc frens (to be confirmed)
Thur: Date with dearie & pack up for KL trip
Fri: Leave for KL..yippie!..will be back on mon
~flew by @ 3:03 PM
A day filled with laughters..today i went out with non to national library since she needs to get some books for her leadership prog..was a bit lost wen we reached the library..haha but we managed to navigate our way..
walked ard bugis junction after dat..i bought a dorothy perkins top..so did non, but she shopped more..hehe im trying very hard not to shop so much now cos i wanna borong in kl..ceh! mcm betul je..haha hopefully S$300 is enuff for me to shop there.. well, cant wait for the trip tho..its gonna be lotsa fun
met up with the rest of the girls for dinner..went to BK before heading to coffeebean for our caffeine-intake session ;-) dats where all hell break loose..nt sure if i shld blame all the caffeine for making us high cos we laugh abt every lil thing even without it..just dat we're extra crazy jus now..my jaw was all aching from the continuous laughters..i lost my status of being the most demure and lady-like among us..kwang3 ketawa tak maintain seh..but its ok..skali skala
we were talking abt our much anticipated kl trip n coming up with all sorts of dares to do there..nampak sah dah takde keje lain nak buat..each of us has a slenge role to play when we're in kl..lets see if we are sporting enough to carry out those acts ah.. si kisha siang2 dah surrender tak nak pakai tudung style minah msia..haha ain n ita jgn ckp ah..they all mmg dah pro tukar2 suara..sekejap high, sekejap low pitch..dah lamer agaknye dia org buat keje mcm tu..hahaha
so let's countdown the number of days to our trip girls..11.....
~flew by @ 1:49 AM
new skin..new me?
as u all can see, i've changed my blogskin..took me a few hrs to complete the new layout..as i've proclaimed before, i suck at html..n i still do..haha most of the time, i just do it by trial and error..if it works, then im considered lucky..hehe
anyways, i havent been doing anything much eversince i got back fr holidays..i've recuperated from my flu, thank god! yest went over to my grandma's place since my cousin had a bday party..it was fun meeting up with the cousins..but most of the big2 ones ard my age weren't there..i guess as we grow older, we have more commitments towards other things huh? so kalau tak hari raya, jgn haraplah dpt jumpa my cousins yang sebaya with me..hehe
mebbi my dad is more strict wen it comes to family functions..he'll inform me n my bros a week before hand nt to make any plans if the relatives are having a function or kenduri..we're expected to be present at these functions..unlike my cousins, their parents a bit relaxed abt these things..i found out one of my cousins didnt come yest cos she went out with her friends..i doubt i can never give such excuse to my parents, unless there's smth urgent to attend to.
on a diff note, im missing my dearie..haha (nthg wrong with being mushy rite?) planned to meet him on wed after his work but i cant confirm it as yet..my mum booked a chalet fr tues till fri..so im nt sure if i shld 'cabut' fr the chalet to meet dearie..i doubt he wanna come over to the chalet and i also dun feel like asking him to come over..haha cos im nt sure if there's gonna be food there since its just a family affair thingy..its nt that my mum gonna cook alot..we might even end up eating cup noodles..haha but, we'll see how things go..most probably i'll tell my mum i'll be goin out for a while n return to the chalet at nite..
~flew by @ 8:35 PM
hey peeps..im back from my holidays! hehe reached spore yest morning..the trip was fun n great! the sight seeing was spectacular..but i dun like the traffic congestion.. it can drive me nuts with all the vehicles honking one another..guess im nt used to that kind of life style..i thot spore was stressful enough! wait till u see cairo city..haha
took lotsa pics..u can view them
here went to lots of places, namely the pyramids, sphinx, museum to see mummies, the beach and shopping at the bazaar..i dint but lotsa stuff tho..jus got sheesha for dearie and some pyramid-shaped paperweights for my frens..
im down with a flu actually..guess in the drastic change in weather..it was winter season in cairo though..haiz guess im gonna take some rest now..till then
~flew by @ 10:02 PM
